Still alive, thankfully
Hodgepodge by Charlie Hodge
It is rare (very rare) when I can honestly say I am glad to turf a heart-felt, tear-touched, freshly written column into the trash bin just before it is submitted for print.
I gladly did so about two minutes ago and with little time left on my column deadline clock. It is Tuesday morning, and I can actually gleefully chuckle and smile as I scramble for creative thoughts to fill this space after trashing my ready to run copy.
The reason for my enthusiasm is simple. I had written yet another column saying farewell to a long-time friend and inspiration after a family member of mine suggested they’d heard a few days back that a friend (I will call him Jack) may have died. I was devastated.
Naturally I checked the newspapers and online the next day but did not find any mention of it.
I checked around again yesterday and still saw nothing, and while I was surprised that I had not seen anything about ‘Jack’ in the news (after all he is well known) I sat down and began to write a tribute to him.
This morning, just before pounding the ‘send’ key, I decided I’d better confirm his demise and see if indeed his funeral had already been held – and yet could still find no news coverage. My wife (wise Tez that she is) suggested I check the obits again – which I did.
It turns out to be a case of mistaken identification.
Apparently (and thankfully for my ‘Jack’ and his family) he is apparently still alive. Another fellow with the same name (slightly different spelling in the last name) unfortunately was the victim of life’s draining hourglass.
I admit to a sense of guilt at feeling relief regarding a stranger’s demise. Such a feeling is understandable but still somewhat uncomfortable.
However, I likewise admit great relief in not announcing to the world that a well-known friend of mine was dead before they were. That sort of thing tends to damage friendships.
Ironically it was a few years ago a similar scenario happened involving myself.
Close buddy Barry lost his father named Charlie. When Barry sent out emails to some of our shared friends announcing his Dad’s demise (simply announced as ‘Charlie’ with no last name) it rattled a number of folks. A few drew the conclusion it was me who was gone not Barry’s dad (some 35 years older than moi).
In fact, one friend actually called my house cautiously and was clearly pleased when I answered.
“Charlie?”
“Yes, hello?”
“Oh crap, I thought you were dead, but you’re not. I’m so glad.”
“Well, so am I,” I chuckled, set back slightly by the opening to the conversation.
It’s always reassuring to know that one is still alive, even if one feels pretty beat up from too much fun the night before.
So suffice to say I am very pleased to know that my buddy ‘Jack’ is still alive and kicking. He probably has no idea I missed him.
Hopefully I will not have to use my now discarded column anytime soon.
My near blunder (due to lack of research) has tweaked a reminder about caring communication.
We do not spend enough time telling people just how much we truly care about them. Sometimes we wait too long and spend the rest of our life wishing we had done so – when the opportunity presented itself.
I kick myself for not getting back to my friend Geno last month. I missed his phone call; he was clearly reaching out for some comfort. When I got home it was too late to check the answering machine. The next morning, I rushed into a meeting and avoided the return call. I was feeling burned out and sorry for me so I procrastinated on reaching back to Geno or anyone else that day.
To much self – not enough for others.
Certainly, its healthy to take time for oneself however everything in moderation.
What we often do not know is the pain or hurt others are carrying – physical, mental, or spiritual. Sometimes the slightest effort, touch, kind word or gesture can make all the difference in someone’s day …or life.
There are many people out there that have issues and could use a loving word or some shared caring. Now.
Share yourself with them.
