Write what you know
HodgePodge by Charlie Hodge
“So, welcome to your first day on the new job,” the early-60-ish looking gentleman said anxiously rubbing his legs ever so gently – and clearly feeling awkward in front of me. I almost felt sorrier for him than me.
Regardless – neither of us were having a wonderful time hanging out together.
Following another awkward pause, he leaned forward with a grin, thrust out his meaty right hand for a shake and said, “Hello Charles – I am Patrick, Patrick Denton.”
Naturally I returned the gesture with the appropriate rebuff and chuckles as anticipated. (Of course, I knew who he was, he’d hired me just the day before). However, that was in fact our first office conversation back on that summer day in the mid-70’s; one of thousands we would share over the first few years of my journalism career.
When Denton interviewed and then gave me the thumbs up, I became the first reporter ever hired outside of family to work for the Kelowna Capital News. The interview remains wedged in my brain 48 years later.
“Can you write sports? I reminded him that I had already worked almost a year at the Courier writing sports and news.
“That’s right. Do you like it?
I told him I loved hockey and boxing and other than that was not really a sports nut.
“Well become one quick because I will need you to create and craft a sports section. Readers say they want more sports and I have no knowledge, interest, or time. That’s your first role.
“We have some old camera’s around here so grab one and sleep with it. The more pictures, news pictures, the better. If you have a real camera, feel free to use it. You are now our ‘staff photographer’,” he grinned.
“If you are still foolish enough to want to stay in this journalism game in a month or two down the road I’ll send you out to the wolves and get you to cover schoolboard or City Council. Two rules with that. Never let them know you are lost in whatever it is they are saying. Just stare at them like you are deep in thought. Number two – don’t fall asleep.”
I laughed – but he was right.
“How good are you are you at writing interviews?”
“Not sure but I gather we are about to find out,” I retorted.
“Ah, yes my lad, that we are,” he smirked.
“Ever written an obituary?”
No, I replied physically with the cranium.
“Well, you better get good at it real fast cause you have three that need to be written. May as well start with your own obit for that matter. We can tear it apart and rebuild it so you know how to do the others.
“Writing your own is a good first step because you are writing what you know. Isn’t that what they say? If you don’t know about you who does?
“Regardless, some wise old editor in my past told me that and I always wanted an excuse to use it – ‘write what you know’. Anyway, bang it out quick and bring it to me when your done,” he mentored with a smile, obviously settling into his ‘editor’ mode now that he had someone to edit.
So I did, and I did, and I did again.
Pat took his red ‘editor’ pen to my copy until I had it right. Then I wrote it again. I did not know that ‘writing what you know’ involved so many typos and spelling mistakes. It was a remarkable and memorable day, obviously.
In case you haven’t figured it out, that’s what today’s HodgePodge column topic is – obits.
Do you have one? If not write one.
Now.
Like the elephant in the room, few people want to talk about the uncomfortable stuff in life such as dying, wills, burials, funerals but everyone needs one.
Most couples do not have prearranged funeral plans because they feel some sort of false assurance that if they do not acknowledge their mortality, it will not happen. If they don’t think or acknowledge their own death it won’t happen, or at least not happen until they are ready.
But we are never ready.
Denying or ignoring the fact you are going to drop dead some day is not only foolish but dangerously myopic. If you truly love your spouse, kids and other family members then you need to bite your elephant in the butt. Perhaps an additional Valentine’s gift to your partner could have been you crafting your obit, or perhaps calling a funeral home and asking for a meeting.
You do not have to procrastinate on planning your departure. In fact, it’s tremendously relaxing after having a professional consultation – knowing that when you croak your partner is not stuck with all the stress, worries and complications of burying or burning you. It’s the last thing you would want them to deal with at that point.
I know Tez and I feel less stressed about dealing with our reality since we visited First Memorial. Tyson took plenty of time explaining our many options, helping tailor make my plans and even laughing at my bad jokes. We spent several minutes discussing obits and when we left he gave us a Dignity Memorial Personal Planning Guide.
The manual was worth the visit alone. It makes planning my funeral and celebration of life much easier. Tez and I can chat about it at home and make plans that best suit us. Tez is now thinking about getting one as well. The manual is a huge help when writing my new obit. The one written for Patrick is a little outdated.
Tez and I will also check out other funeral homes, their prices and what they offer before deciding. Hopefully they will carry helpful pamphlets as well. Meanwhile the manual is a great conversation starter for anyone or any couple who are still being stifled by that damn elephant.
