Lukas taught many lessons in a brief timeline
HodgePodge by Charlie Hodge
Thankful.
I was brought back to harsh earth reality last week with the memories of one who transcended from here to heaven several years ago. Lukas taught me yet another lesson.
On Sept. 28 family and friends gathered to share the joys of having known a darling young boy named Lukas Tulman. The re-celebration of life was a small yet powerful gathering providing a variety of memories including plenty of laughter and tears.
Lukas died Oct. 21, 1999 at age nine stolen by brain cancer. Last month’s gathering marked 25 years since that day.
A bubbly, gurgling, joyful Lukas first popped into our world on July 20, 1990 making Leslie and Curtis Tulman two of the happiest parents in the world. Right from the start one could tell that Lukas was going to be a game changer and an inspiration. My first visit with him involved a patting of my cheeks and a firm squeeze of my nose. Lukas found the encounter hilarious as did I, however the nose argued.
Life blissfully bubbled along for Leslie and Curtis for about three and a half years with Lukas dancing though life as any male child that age does: words, gurgles, laughter, noise and fun, fun, fun. That’s when Leslie noticed Lukas was suddenly struggling with his balance and one of his eye’s was starting to act wonky. A visit to the doctor meant immediate x-rays and tests and before the couple knew what happened they were at the Children’s Hospital in Vancouver facing a nightmare. Brain tumor.
In July 1994 just before his fourth birthday surgeons removed the tumor, or so they thought, and Lukas began his myriad of chemotherapy. Lukas proved just as resilient against the cancer competition as his parents and rallied to the challenge
Thanks to the skills and patience of the Children’s Hospital staff, and later Mom and Dad, Lukas learned to walk again. Damage from the tumor and or surgery to his hearing was resolved with special hearing aids and remarkably his communication skills were good. In fact they were amazing.
Lukas was a profoundly interesting young man to chat with. His dad referred to him as “an engaging chap” which is a perfect capturing of his state. I found myself drawn into much deeper conversations about things than I would have expected for a six or seven year old. Lukas truly was an ‘old soul”
I remember leaving various conversations feeling weak and humbled by his calm, knowledgeable, sage like comments. He was the sick one yet I was the not doing well and he was all smiles. It was inspiring and healing – the irony of it all.
Later when I asked him about how it was that he seemed happy and healthy despite his troubles.
“How do you deal with that,” I asked him.
He grinned like he knew I was going to ask and said, “It’s okay Charlie – I just think happy until I stop hurting or feeling sad. You have to breathe happy.”
Wow.
Just around his eight birthday the cancer came back with a vengeance and was swift in its demise.
Young Lukas – stolen by brain cancer.
While his tragedy was long, sorrowful and damaging it was also very much the flip side in bonding, healing, and joyful in a kinship spiritual way. Lukas was an old soul. Literally a wise, wise man in an old man’s body. I learned much from him and I know his family did too.
A year later or so, not far before Lukas passed on but while still cognitive Lukas called me over to him gently and said, “I want you to do me a favour please. I want you to keep an eye on mom and dad. Make sure they think happy. Tell dad to breathe happy.”
A wise, calm, mentor and inspiration. More worried about others than himself.
When family gathered last week for the re-celebration I could not attend as I had pneumonia and so sadly had to hide at home. I was very ill and under doctor’s orders – no being around people. Still, I had a hard time that day feeling sorry for myself and feeling like I was being dealt with unfairly. Then I thought of Lukas and remembered his wise words – and smiled.
Less than a week later I felt healed and happy again. I maintain it was not my strength that got me through. That was Lukas.
